i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
17 Exes Admit Why They Were Crazy In Their Past Relationship
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
no more duck duck goose at the bar
These 25 Teachers Said Horrible Things to Their Students
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA