Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Randomize
