Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (757): View more from Virginia

  If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?

  (269): View more from Michigan

  Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (757): If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans? (269): Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass. http://tfl.nu/u35z
  Replies (13) Good night (2380) Bad night (666)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (330): now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me http://tfl.nu/m2x7
  Replies (6) Good night (2815) Bad night (600)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (717): one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9" http://tfl.nu/v0g1
  Replies (52) Good night (4487) Bad night (852)
• Favorite

  (301): View more from Maryland

  i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (301): i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend http://tfl.nu/2pir
  Replies (62) Good night (2873) Bad night (1202)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (717): Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom http://tfl.nu/cpi6
  Replies (46) Good night (705) Bad night (9019)
• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (651): The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count. http://tfl.nu/0nix
  Replies (34) Good night (705) Bad night (4320)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (630): just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea http://tfl.nu/jqzl
  Replies (10) Good night (720) Bad night (3835)
• Favorite

  (530): View more from California

  He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (530): He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away http://tfl.nu/6kvy
  Replies (20) Good night (1153) Bad night (5695)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (206): thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it. http://tfl.nu/8gdu
  Replies (2) Good night (2782) Bad night (720)
• Favorite

  (517): View more from Michigan

  I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (517): I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine. http://tfl.nu/qnhv
  Replies (20) Good night (2677) Bad night (528)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Life is too short to have fake orgasms.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (412): Life is too short to have fake orgasms. http://tfl.nu/1oh4
  Replies (14) Good night (2782) Bad night (511)
• Favorite

  (506): View more from New Brunswick

  there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (506): there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits http://tfl.nu/dkmo
  Replies (4) Good night (608) Bad night (1076)
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (845): He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought http://tfl.nu/z4p7
  Replies (7) Good night (2737) Bad night (474)
• Favorite

  (423): View more from Tennessee

  We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (423): We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers. http://tfl.nu/yz9j
  Replies (2) Good night (559) Bad night (174)
• Favorite

  (785): View more from Kansas

  U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (785): U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick http://tfl.nu/it39
  Replies (7) Good night (1247) Bad night (194)

Randomize