I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
either way he was missing a nipple.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
