you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
23 Bosses Confess The Craziest Thing They’ve Seen An Employee Do
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
19 People Confess What It’s Like To Have Sex With Someone That Is Transitioning
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT