I think scott just propositioned me for sex
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
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