Texts From Last Night

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  (614): View more from Ohio

  Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall

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  (614): Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall http://tfl.nu/esl2
  Replies (4) Good night (2376) Bad night (560)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?

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  (405): why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after? http://tfl.nu/ai6n
  Replies (45) Good night (1167) Bad night (5312)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.

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  (303): Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done. http://tfl.nu/i81l
  Replies (18) Good night (8735) Bad night (844)
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  (305): View more from Florida

  After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.

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  (305): After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it. http://tfl.nu/d686
  Replies (31) Good night (5295) Bad night (1349)
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him

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  (256): There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him http://tfl.nu/3qir
  Replies (17) Good night (3690) Bad night (989)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.

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  (978): I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now. http://tfl.nu/xddc
  Replies (17) Good night (11601) Bad night (1082)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"

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  (615): She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits" http://tfl.nu/yc53
  Replies (9) Good night (2846) Bad night (1088)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.

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  (770): She is just riding on my slutty coat tails. http://tfl.nu/ci3j
  Replies (6) Good night (2292) Bad night (930)
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  (219): View more from Indiana

  googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life

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  (219): googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life http://tfl.nu/fhns
  Replies (2) Good night (553) Bad night (1222)
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  (905): View more from Ontario

  110% paid for our cab with a lap dance

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  (905): 110% paid for our cab with a lap dance http://tfl.nu/ywar
  Replies (8) Good night (1511) Bad night (554)
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  (807): View more from Ontario

  The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.

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  (807): The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome. http://tfl.nu/ll5l
  Replies (1) Good night (1308) Bad night (395)
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  (714): View more from California

  I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.

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  (714): I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks. http://tfl.nu/v5vh
  Replies (4) Good night (432) Bad night (289)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame

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  (727): I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame http://tfl.nu/nqk0
  Replies (6) Good night (1371) Bad night (301)
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....

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  (250): Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so.... http://tfl.nu/u1xp
  Replies (4) Good night (563) Bad night (243)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.

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  (816): Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question. http://tfl.nu/xpn9
  Replies (0) Good night (469) Bad night (262)

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