i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Randomize
