Duck Duck Cougar?
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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