wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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