She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I need water and some morals
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
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