We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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