Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I have already put on my inside pants.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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