Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
