i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Randomize
