Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
No I am not eating basil off your cock
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Randomize
