just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
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