Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
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