This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize
