Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize