we have pet lesbian snakes
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize