who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
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