i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
40s are totally the cure
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
