Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then he tried to convert me to islam
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
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