But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
