Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Randomize
