you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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