Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
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