Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Randomize
