I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Randomize
