It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
