Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
