The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
