Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
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