I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
