So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
