If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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