The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Randomize
