can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
