so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Dignity is for republicans.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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