Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
only you would photoshop your dick
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
