Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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