We're facebook friends in real life
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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