i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
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