They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
