why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
