hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
