the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
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