I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
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