a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize