I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
