New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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