was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
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