She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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