You don't have asthma, your pregnant
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Randomize
