We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
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I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
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he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
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