4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
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