I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
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