i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
