I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
