I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
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