Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
I'm really busy with my period
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