Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize