reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
