i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
God, I missed his penis.
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