he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
